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Why are we non-commital?

By Bamboo In The Wind

Fear. The singlemost biggest reason we don't want to commit is the fear of not delivering what we promised. Fear of falling short. In whose eyes though? Our own eyes.

So fear falling short in our own eyes is a subtle reflection of hurting image we carry about ourselves; that of our behaviour, abilities and actions.

When subconticously held image of ourselves does not match reality of our behaviour, does not demonstrate abilities or actions in real life , we suddenly spring a surprise on ourselves about the mismatch. The instantlt invoked reaction of surprise is a reflection of ego which tries to justify our behaviour, abilities and actions. We fall into denial knowingly.

We absolve ourselves of any responsibility of such outcome. We hold someone else responsible for our view of the reality.

What this means is that being committal has a cost of hurting our ego and going through denial and making someone else the reason for it.

When we know that such mismatch is likely to be a routine scenario we get into situations and remain non-commital to all situations that are unknown to us. We try hard to make unknowns turn into knowns. Yet there are things that we do not see with clarity no matter how much we like to think we understand everything around us. This again is a vicious cycle of our own image not matching the reality and having a feeling of letting ourselves down.

It is easy to fall into a trap of being non-commital and avoid surprising self.

It's even better to work daily such that our efforts and interactions generate automatic feedback loop that allows us to generate an accurate image of our own reality.

Being committal is the way to force that feedback loop. It requiring starting with conviction even when we don't know how it will pan out.

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