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Why do we say no when we really want to say yes?

By Bamboo In The Wind

Occasionally, we get a chance to participate in an exciting cause. We wholeheartedly want to be part of it, yet we remain noncommittal. We either say no to stay on the sidelines.

The trouble with this approach is we lost an essential part of our experience journey and regret being so naive to decline an opportunity to network, listen and learn.

Careful introspection will reveal a couple of contributing factors that drive this behavior. 

1. We are not volunteering to initiate causes of our own. When we do, we might feel the urge to make it worthwhile for others to join us. And when they do, it enthuses us.

When we know what to initiate, we realize what others seek. Ferocity to join, contribute and offer them our enthusiasm and attention.

We will notice their point of view.

2. We constantly gauge our interests, circle, and position in someone else's. This is a particularly troubling aspect of the way we think about where to involve ourselves.

We know it is a matter of trust and grappling without insecurity. When we don't deal with both comprehensively, we prefer to be hiding. It is not that we do not want to be a part of something that we have not initiated. It has more to do with whether we have a clear line of sight about who we are and how we fit with those around us.

It is a sign of a developing value system that has stalled in the absence of knowing what is causing the reluctance on our part.

To enjoy the participation, gain experience, and become confident, we must volunteer our time efforts, initiate networking events and, importantly, not hesitate to share what is in our minds.

The step before that is to notice the opposite of this has been the contributing factor.

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