Bamboo In The Wind

  A human being is one of the most sophisticated and complex species to ever exist.  We have been blessed with the ability to think, analyze, and express our emotions. All this coupled with the fact that we can walk on two legs, surely every human, irrespective of their background, is smarter than all other species to walk this earth. In theory, yes.  In reality however, most humans are dissatisfied and unhappy because of them feeling inferior to another human being. The question that arises is - why so? To find the answer, let me walk you through a commonly used grading system in Indian higher education institutions.  Absolute grading and Relative grading. The biggest distinction among both is that the former awards merit for the individual’s effort and skill alone whereas the latter awards merit for the individual’s effort and skill in relation to that of their peers. We see the same concept being in subconscious use in the formation of an individual’s identity a...

It is impossible to not think about how to bridge the gap between where you are and where you would like to be. The gap often appears enormous. Unsurprisingly, you get attracted to tricks and treats to get you past it. However, shortcuts that should have helped don't work, leaving you stumped and with a much wider gap. The main issue is focusing on the result without control over it. While expecting results is a dreamy desire, it depends on the route we take to get results. The course involves a lot of background work with little recognition and reward. It consists of working in quiet, dark, dusty corners that get our hands in the mud. Some days feel like endless early mornings and late nights, all starting and ending with a streak of mistakes and false hopes that ensue. Learning by doing is a great way to provide real hope. The route appears marred with costly affairs. Learning is time-consuming, costs money, and failures are totally humbling. And yet, following a long-term path b...

When you think about "I should have...",  you throw yourself into the unfathomably deep swirl of thoughts that lead to a futile assessment of causes that led to the past. There is little you can do to change where you are.  What it does enable, however, is a deep understanding of where you need improvement. It is a quest to understand how to better your position. Thus, the thought - "I should have..."-  reflects a drive for self-improvement during the dance with fear. On the other hand, when you think about "What if I...", it directs us to thoughts that lead you to immediate next steps. It opens your minds to future opportunities.  That one step you take can visibly change your position. It shifts you into action. Composes your emotions, which opens the door to emerging tangible options. Thus, the thought - "What if I..." - reflects a drive for self-acceptance after the dance with fear.

It is probably easier to ask - "What do you want to be?" That brings us to think about work and the professional role we want. Thinking about being just a parent, citizen, or neighbor is socially unacceptable. That is not attractive enough. And why should it be! It is not glittery. It does not bring us any fame! All it means is being responsible. But then, the right question to ask would be, "What do you want to do?".  It makes us think about the enjoyable skill we want to be good at and exercise. And another critical question to ask would be, "Who do you want to be?".  It makes us think about the role model for who we want to be like.  It makes us automatically focus on the values. The values we want to embody in our daily life that provides fulfillment. And it extends the responsibility that comes with our choice and acceptance.  And that is at the base of a feeling of satisfaction.

It is not an easy thing to deal with a blow. It comes unexpectedly. And it hurts really bad. That surprise is the real problem. We are blindsided by which circumstances cause trouble and deal us a blow. The surprise stems from unpreparedness to face situations. Sometimes these situations can have binary outcomes. That makes the blow really hard because options are limited. Clearly favorable or absolutely unfavorable. We miss a step, and we have an impact of a significant loss of opportunity. We get one step right, and we are on the winning side. The surprise also stems from temperament. We must always know delicate situations depend on the last-minute composure as we enter the main frey. Composure massively weighs on the outcomes. Preparing with extra care and diligence is an excellent way to handle delicate situations. A better way is to work on temperament with sufficient exposure to the big-day environment. Organize practice that tests our nerves as it would in real life. It can sav...

I t is satisfying to have put up a great fight. Knowing fully well that we consciously chose not to quit and make a sincere effort makes it all worthwhile. All we can do is keep a sane mind. Be honest in preparation. Wait for the show-time to arrive and then enter the fray with all our might. It is daunting to think about what may transpire after the game. The worry is not what wins us the game; it is the act of playing the game that certainly will create a chance! Creating a chance in every situation, tactfully navigating hurdles one step at a time is all that matters.  The referees' job is to determine how our effort turned out. Our job is the stay in the game. Until the end! And that is a brave act. And fortune is often seen to side with daring!  But first, we must start by mastering our circumstances! And act on resistance to do so. Decisively!

It seems almost impossible to recover from defeat in our earlier games! And yet, how do some people revive from devastating defeats while others end up dropping the ball? Why do unfavorable situations strengthen some individuals or groups yet make others quit under pressure? There are routine examples of how people have scored solid recoveries from what looked like an untenable situation. Their success may lie in a critical thinking attribute when in a troublesome situation. That key attribute is - the willingness to develop a muscle of personal resilience! Resilience begins to develop from a simple step of a view problem situation as an opportunity to evolve personal self. It shapes personality and approach to positively engaging circumstances. What gives root to resilience is in being optimistic . It makes thinking about a way out of the situation plausible. It provides the necessary hope and possibility of taking action. Resilience grows further with decisive actions of engagi...

When we need help, it is better to ask one specific person than a group. Messages to a broad group of people receive few responses and even fewer valuable suggestions! And that should not be surprising! People tend to think others in the group will step up to help. Thus, diffusion of responsibility kicks in! It is our loss when we reach out to a group for support and, in reality, see none! The generosity of support is highest when there is an exclusive opportunity for making a direct positive impact on someone in need. A sense of unique contribution is the reason people volunteer!

Those who genuinely don't care what people think about them do so purposefully.  There is a deep-seated underlying fear that leads to insecurity to know more about themselves. They detest finding out that they might not be perfect and need improvement. That makes them antisocial by their own design! A more confident and social people know precisely where their progress lies. They care about what people they immensely respect think of them and act on it blindly. The difference between being successful and being satisfied lies between the two approaches.

Happiness is never one size fits all. It's never about winning the big things every once in a while and getting the joy of life. Instead, happiness lies in increasing the frequency of joy.  Happiness is collecting joy in little things, the most unassuming settings, and the most unexpected yet regular aspects of life! As often as we can. Chasing the roller coaster of big bang pleasures will bring many disappointments amid some joyous breaks. Learning to spot and pick daily, tiny moments of joy is the only way to sustained, long-lasting satisfaction. It starts with being open to recognizing that bad is mixed good, and we must learn to discern good and cherish that!